He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
