Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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