I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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