Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
babies were throwing up all over the place
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
