Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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