This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
where are my eyebrows?
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