Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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