bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
