New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
