Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Randomize
