She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Found the puke drawer
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
