How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
