I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
