On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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