Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
