hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
