I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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