Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
There's even glitter on my cock...
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