She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
