What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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