After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
