i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
