I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
