I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
