next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
