Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He? As in you personified your dick?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
