Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im holly from the hills drunk
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
