Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
