She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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