good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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