Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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