Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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