I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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