Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
