Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
