I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
