My Higher Power is John Stamos
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
