oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
