yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do vagina's smell?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
