dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
