I wannas sexs uuuuu
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Farmville is her only friend.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
