Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
