So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
