And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
