It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
