OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
