There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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