Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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