The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
