Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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