she was so not down for the gang bang
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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