4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
