he wants to bone in the snuggie
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
